I am in love with people, and think that human connection is the basis for our entire lives. I don’t value possessions, I value people and the experiences we have with them. I have a soft spot for genuineness and adventurousness in people. The people whose lives are so adventurous they seem fictional, the people who inspire the stories that hundreds and thousands of books have been written about – those are the people who make me feel alive, who make me laugh and cry and open my heart to them, and ultimately the kind of person who I hope to be.
Despite the fact that people enthrall me, I have a hard time communicating my feelings and expressing my love and appreciation for those around me. If I had to choose something that I repeatedly tell those I love, it wouldn’t be any sort of heartfelt appreciation for them or telling them I love them. I frequently use phrases like “you’re crazy” or “you’re great,” but one of the things I tell my family frequently is that they can’t take me too seriously. Ever.
As a recovering insomniac, it doesn’t take a lot to keep me up at night. Late-night discussions with my long-distance friends fill the hours when sleep escapes me, and the afterthoughts related to those discussions haunt my mind throughout my waking hours. Questions about the meaning of life, the inevitability and beauty of the death, the insignificance and indecency of the human species, and the ability of man to be unkind to another man are frequent, but are only a few in a sea of thoughts that keep me awake daily. A soothing song, whether from my stereo or in the voice of my friends, helps me fall asleep during these tumultuous times: songs of hope and love and freedom and questioning, always questioning.
I don’t know anything to be true. I think of life and everything in it as constantly fluctuating, and one thing we think might be true now won’t necessarily be in the future. I have many things I believe in, and many causes I would die for, but do I think they are true? I think they are true for me, but are they true universally? Perhaps not. Do I consider things that go against my “personal truths,” for lack of a better word, to be evil? Once again, not necessarily. I think there isn’t a lot of true evil in the world. There are things that have evil qualities, but little or nothing is completely, in its entirety, one hundred percent evil.
In others, I respect a certain sense of self-awareness and at the same time the ability to lose themselves to the moment. I respect a good sense of humor and the ability to take a joke without getting offended by it. People need to take themselves and those around them less seriously. People need to be more adventurous and open to new things; the unknown absolutely excites my curiosity and urges me to delve into its depths, to lose myself to an adventure and find myself more in the process.
If I were the ruler of the world, I would find a way to lessen the suffering of the millions of people around the world living through poverty, hunger, and disease. I would promote changes that would promote equality — on of the few things I believe in wholeheartedly and believe in as a personal truth, that everyone deserves equal rights — and better the lives of people around the world. Before I die, I hope to make a difference in as many people’s lives as possible — to allow them to grow as people and make changes for the better, no matter what kind of personal sacrifice it takes to get there.