Business Letter Draft

Lexie 

1840 South 1300 East

Salt Lake City, UT 84105

Darla

1840 South 1300 East

Salt Lake City, UT 84105

August 31, 2011

Dear Darla,

I hope that you are doing well. Now that this year’s First Year Student Orientation has concluded, the Community Relations student workers, including myself, have a few concerns about how the event was handled, specifically about the involvement of the Community Relations office in the scavenger hunt activities, what our duties were, and the organization of the entire event.

As you know, another work study student and myself were asked to work during the scavenger hunt at freshman orientation. We were expected to contact businesses included in the scavenger hunt, make sure that the event was running smoothly for them and answer any questions they may have had. Things were awry from the beginning, when an official list of businesses that were supposed to be involved was not made available to us by the FYSO staff. We were forced to use an incomplete, unofficial list that we had received two weeks prior.

Once out in the community, we realized that very few of the businesses had even been informed of the event happening that day. For the entire first half of the day, business owners were extremely confused as to why hundreds of Westminster freshmen were coming into their business. By the second half, most businesses had figured out what the event was, but still expressed that they would have liked to have prior knowledge. Throughout the day, only two businesses had been previously informed of the event. Many of the businesses we went to were not included on the final list, resulted in a lot of inefficient, wasted time on our parts.

Overall, the event could have planned been much better. Next year, I would recommend the community relations department have a greater involvement in the organization of the scavenger hunt from the beginning. We need to notify businesses of the event at least a month prior and begin lobbying for businesses to have some sort of handout for the students – even if it is something as simple as a flyer. We need to have a finalized list of businesses available for anyone who needs it prior to the beginning of the event, and need to have greater follow-up with the businesses after the event to ensure their satisfaction with their student-community interactions.

I believe if we take these considerations into account next year, we would have a much more successful and fulfilling event for both students and the community.

Thank you for your time,

-Lexie

Audience Analysis

My primary audience is my boss, who is the director of several departments on the Westminster campus. The majority of her day is filled with meetings and attending events, and she generally works at least a 10-hour work day. She will be reading my report between meetings and will likely be in a rush, which will provide many distractions. However, she already has a bias in favor of the change I am promoting in my letter and if I present it in a clear and concise manner, she will be likely to approve it. She wants to promote a positive image for our department, which the implementation my proposal will achieve.

How to E-mail a Professor - Response

Hello Dr. Leddy,

You brought up several good points in your article "How to E-mail a Professor." I thought this was a very important topic and you presented it well by highlighting the importance of students' thoroughness and courteousness in writing an e-mail to a professor. I agree with you that it is very important for students to appear professional in writing.

However, one point I was concerned with was the suggestion to e-mail a thank you to the professor upon receiving a reply. Professors may have over one hundred students in a single semester, and assuming many of them will be needing help at one point or another, hundreds of messages regurgitating "Thank you, I got your email" would seem to me repetitive and bothersome. Rather than sending a thank-you message, the professor could instate a policy in which a student should resend their email if they haven't heard back from the professor within two days, and the student can thank the professor for his or her help in person the next time class meets.

While your article was very insightful, I think this one correction could alleviate some frustrations for professors.

Thank you for your time,

-Lexie

Book Biography

Lexie has been enthralled with fantasy from a young age. In fact, when her parents asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, she said a unicorn. Lexie began writing short stories when she was only nine years old, often featuring mythical creatures with curly hair and a sarcastic demeanor. Today, she is getting the imagination beaten out of her by corporations hoping to steal her soul.